Thursday, December 13, 2007

Jane Fonda at 70, Still Appalling After All These Years

Have to admit I've never been a great fan of Jane Fonda. My disaffection started decades ago, like many others', after seeing photos of her with the Viet Cong smeared all over the world when she became Hanoi Jane.

Jane, poster girl, sex symbol, wild child war protester of the 60s and early 70s. But get this, Jane is now 70 and wants to be the recycled sex symbol of the 21st century, if she and her publicists have anything to do with it. And, judging from the sound of it, the're working overtime to indeed do something about it:

Jane Fonda has her mind set on making an erotic film. The 70 year old actress wants to prove that elderly couples still have active and fulfilling sex lives. She says, "They're not knocking down the doors of someone almost 70 in Hollywood. I want to make an erotic movie about a woman over 70. There's this cultural vacuum that, when you hit a certain age, you're not sexual anymore. The contrary is true. We'll see if I can do it. Got to get it written first. I've already mapped out the love scene."

Goodness gracious, Jane, you're so kind to show all us dumb illiterates the way to the sexual riparian promise lands of old age. What a relief to know sex after, say 35, is even possible.


I met Jane briefly, in the early 90s out West. She was with then-husband Ted Turner up in Montana at an environmental conference where Ted was a featured panelist/speaker (can't remember what he was his topic---perhaps raising bison in an ecologically happy way). Anyway, Ted was so surly and offensive on the podium, for a minute I actually felt sorry for her. But the feeling didn't last, and over the years kept up with her less and less.

But Thursday while visiting relatives in Atlanta I picked up the morning edition of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and who should be on the front page but Jane and her dog with the happy and reassuring headline: Fonda at 70: 'Best Time of My Life.'

The story goes on to chronicle Jane's outstanding life and journey from Hollywood to Atlanta, her marriage to and divorce from Ted, and the non-profit she started 13 years ago to help prevent teenage pregnancy in Georgia called Georgia Campaign for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention (G-CAPP). The article indicates Jane is a role model for young people, especially teenagers who are struggling to finish school and not let their lives be messed up by early pregnancy.

So important is this organization to her that's she's celebrated her biggest birthday last night with proceeds to benefit G-CAPP. Price of admission about $50,000 over seven years per person.

Wow, I thought, Jane has started a non-profit to help prevent teenagers from getting pregnant. The article didn't give any details as to how to her organization accomplishes this feat of preventing pregnancies in youth. Education? Birth Control? Abortion? Who knows.

But never mind. Judging from the sound of it, it's certainly not through celibacy, abstinance, or role modelling. Nor advocating sex within the confines of love, marriage, commitment and the ability to actually care for children. That would be far too, well, 20th century.

The piece continues by saying Jane is most anxious to tell the world that at 70.... 'sex is good and she's having it, thank you very much.' It is only very late in the article that a boyfriend, who looks like a movie star, is revealed as the object of her sexual happy affection. He is a man who lets Jane do whatever she wants.

What a relief to know that sex is even possible at such a ripe old age and that our last century's most insufferable sex symbol has now made it into the 21st century, and her 8th decade intending to kiss and tell all AND be a role model for preventing teenage pregnancy every step of the way.

Wow, Jane Fonda sure has her work cut out for her: Sex and the suddenly single 70-year old role model counselling kids how to prevent pregnancy. What about this picture, especially on the front page of the Atlanta paper, makes me uneasy, so so uneasy?

I shudder to think what might happen when she turns 80 or 90. Perhaps a full spread in Penthouse or YouTube videos, completee with instructions on how to find.......oh never mind

Whatever would we do without Jane Fonda to show us the way? And to know that discretion, decorum and living quietly never has to be a choice of an aging hippie population.


Bob's Blog said...

As usual, I'm with you!

Anonymous said...

Now, now, now Webutante. Let's give her credit for what she really is, a fine actress. Maybe a little goofy. But still good looking, yes. However, if she plans to do a spread in Penthouse, I wish she would go ahead and do it at 70, not wait till 80. It still might pass at the moment

mRed said...

Dear Ms. Webutante,

You met Jane Fonda? Did you happen to get a phone number?

Just a thought.

Yours in Sisterhood,
Larry Flynt

Anonymous said...

very damn funny....

Anonymous said...

Ms. Fonda. A true American Hero!