Memo To McCain: Make A Silk Purse Out of A Sow's Ear

AND BRING HOME SOME VOTER BACON IN THE PROCESS

Sure, Obama made a silly, stupid gaffe---wittingly or unwittingly----about pigs and lipstick. And yes, it could be interpreted as being about your spectacular VP running mate. And yes again, you probably could have a reason to be offended.

But please don't take this righteous indignation and defensiveness thing too far.

Remember, defensiveness is easy and automatic, and always comes from the lowest (fight or flight) reptilian, uh, pig brain. Humor, however, is a higher function from the more creative part of our gray matter. Respond from that part. Go for the gold and raise the level of pig/lipstick discourse to a higher sty, er, plane.

Make Obama's silly remark work for you rather than against you by using cleverness and humor.

You can start by making reference to ending porky pig spending in Washington.

Turn the pig analogy around and put it squarely on the Democratic, do-nothing, pork barrel Congress, on the piggish out-of-control earmarking process, on the fact that Obama is now taking his desperate campaign down into a muddy pigsty, and yes, you can and should link it to President Bush's failure to use his veto pen more.

Slaughter the silly and increasingly humorless Obama campaign with smart and authentic pig analogies, delivered with a sense of humor. Give away Democratic pig snouts for Halloween.

Then have the local GOPs that you and Sarah visit in the coming weeks serve bacon on every menu (BLTs?) with the reminder that we've going to eat up the pork spending in Washington.

And most of all, mean it.

Read. My. Lipstick. When given pigs, make bacon bits out of them.

And, I promise you, John, when you do, you'll bring home some solid voter bacon. And make a silk purse out of a sow's ear (marks).

Remember, solid principles delivered with a smile and some humor go a long, long way towards the road to November.