This search for fame, the lust for material things and the objectification of
others — that is, the cycle of grasping and craving — follows a formula that is
elegant, simple and deadly:
Love things, use people.
... But you know in your heart that it is morally disordered and a likely road
to misery. You want to be free of the sticky cravings of unhappiness and find
a formula for happiness instead. How? Simply invert the deadly formula and
render it virtuous:
Love people, use things.
Easier said than done, I realize ... [Because it] requires a deep skepticism of
our own basic desires. Of course you are driven to seek admiration, splendor
and physical license. But giving in to these impulses will bring unhappiness.
... Declaring war on these destructive impulses is not about asceticism or
Puritanism. It is about being a prudent person who seeks to avoid unnecessary
suffering.
— Arthur C. Brooks, “Love