Leona Helmsley's "Shocking" Will

A great hubbub is being made in the news today about Leona Helmsley's $12,000,000 bequest to her dog, Trouble. It's further reported as "shocking" that two of her grandchildren were left money while two others were "stiffed" in her will, even as she left billions to charity.

How perfectly scandalous!

All this is somehow designed to prove her well-established reputation as the ever-evil "Queen of Mean." I mean when was a law made that people had to remember all children and grandchildren alike and leave out pets in their wills if we so choose? I would hope that I will never do such a thing, but who's to say the reasoning behind her decision. It might be a perfectly sensible thing she's done, for all anyone knows.

Leona may be one tough broad, but it's not because of the details of her last will and testament made public yesterday, in my opinion.

I just can't get too wigged out about this "horrifying" story, try as I may. Except for the scale of her wealth, I think it's more of a ho-hum sign of our postmodern times and societal affluence, than further proof positive of any particular demonic qualities on her part. Don't rich old ladies get to worship, idolize and adore their poodles in peace anymore?

And I mean, how many other people in the world do you know who've made their dogs and other pets the focal point---as in c-e-n-t-e-r of the universe---of their lives today? It's almost like they've given up on people and centered their lives, conversations and priorities around something easier.

Don't get me wrong, I love dogs, adore them! My first horseback ride was on the back of my father's old bird dog setter who patiently endured my nonstop abuse, complete with handmade bridle, day in and day out for several years. I grew up with these wonderful animals and my erstwhile husband and I had family pets for our children for decades.

But that was still in the days when dogs were dogs and people were, well, still people. And there were still delineations between the animal and people kingdoms. Children were seen and not heard, and one's dog was never the ongoing topic of polite conversation among adults.

But it's just not that way anymore. The boundaries of society are sadly breaking down and Leona's will is just one small, shining example of our changing subjective priorities.

The real story down the road, I predict, will be someone with lots of money deciding they want to make a legal issue of marrying their dog, instead of just living with and leaving it money I'm not kidding. Someone else will make a hullabaloo of getting government benefits for their significant other who just happens to be Fido.

We may laugh now, but mark my words, it's coming. And by the time it happens, it'll be a lot less shocking than we think it is now.

So while $12,000,000 is going to make Trouble one of the richest, if not the richest dogs in Manhattan, it's also a testament to Leona's priorities in a culture where priorities have gone mad.

If we're truthful, how many people do we know who might leave their pooches a lot more money when they died, if only they had the money to leave? Some might even choose their dogs over the children and grandchildren, like Leona.

Think what that's going to do to line the pockets of lawyers.

I can just see the headlines now: Human grandchildren of Omaha go to court contesting will of of their grandmother who left the bulk of her estate to the first cousin of her grand-dog once removed.

Now that's shocking.