Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Sanford Returns From BA


SO DISAPPOINTED today on hearing the news of Gov. Mark Sanford's affair with an Argentine woman. I'm sad for his wife and four boys, sad for South Carolina and sad for our country's diverted attention from more important events here and Iran. Then again, maybe this is something we need to look at.. I'm glad his wife Jenny has asked him to leave home and also glad they are attempting to reconcile their marriage.

It's time for her and them to draw some hard lines. Define themselves to themselves and each other.

If Sanford doesn't give up this exotic woman soon and completely, then his wife should leave him sooner rather than later and grieve the loss of their marriage. They can either grow together or she'll grow as she cuts the cord and lets this man stew in his own juices.

Not a great model for his sons, though it's all redeemable.

Sanford stands at the greatest crossroad of his life. He will either grow from here, now or lose a great deal personally and professionally, as rightly he should. He can't have it both ways though we all wish we could. Perhaps he'll decide to give his life up here for sexual infatuation---a good, good friend, as he describes it. After all there's a lot of great fishing and hiking in Argentina.

I'm very sad to see this all happen. The whole power/ aphrodisiac thing is an equal opportunity home and profession wrecker, irregardless of political party or religious affiliation. It also has a way of bringing big egos down. This is no exception.

Sanford is old enough to know better than to think becoming "good friends" with a divorcing, attractive woman with whom he shared intimate emails and advice for EIGHT years---wherever she's lived---wouldn't sooner or later lead to sexual intimacy and fireworks. His judgment is sadly lacking and his selfishness is overwhelming.

He's taken the lazy man's way out in dealing with his marital issues. It's always easier to have faux intimacy with a fantasy person than to deal with what needs to be dealt with in the day-to-day real world of marriage. My heart goes out for Sanford's family.

Comments will be limited.


Webutante said...

The easiest thing in the world right now is to get down and dirty and totally partisan with this very sad situation. And of course my comments already refect this.

However, anyone who wants to make political hay out of this will have to go elsewhere to do so. And as ever, you are always free to go to other blogs instead of here.

No low blows and political jabs will be published here today.

Good evening.

fraydna52 said...

I couldn't agree with you more on this. It seems that it's human nature to think that moral standards don't include "me". Those standards exist precisely because they are what is best for us. What a terribly sad day.

Thanks for taking the high road on comments in this matter.

Webutante said...

Yes indeec. But by the Grace of God go any of us, and this situation touches very close to home for many people, I'm sure.

It is a sad day for the Sanford family and South Carolina. It is a sad for all of us.

vienna va said...

Why would Gov. Sanford's cheating on his wife and leaving his children make it a sad day for me? Was it a sad day for you personally when John Edwards did the same thing? I remember you mocking "Silky Pony" when his foibles were publicized.

I'm sorry for his wife and kids that he felt it necessary to skip out on them, especially after his very public moral stances on the sanctity of marriage. His actions don't measure up to his words. I'm sorry for the people of South Carolina that they are stuck with such a turkey, although they voted for him time and time again. I'm not sorry for him, and I'm not sorry for the people who hold themselves out to be the most moral among us, who almost always turn out to be the weakest.

I mean, this isn't brain surgery. Stay faithful to your spouse. Period. Done.

And yes, I know this will end up in the dustbin of your comments.

Webutante said...

One thing to remember, Vienna: in any and all divorces BOTH people are culpable somehow....even though it looks like only one is at fault. This is true only 100% of the time and there are no exceptions.

Even if one is only 5% at fault and the other is 95%, both have deep work to do on themselves.

vienna va said...

I have no first hand knowledge of divorce so I'll have to take your word for it.

I'm not absolving the wife of blame, though it's hard to see how him having an affair with a married woman and leaving the country to meet her without mentioning it to his family or his staff is somehow her fault. Let's just say that she and Elizabeth Edwards are probably equally guilty in protecting their families and wanting to keep their husbands' indiscretions quiet.

I will say that Mrs. Sanford's letter to her husband makes her sound more gracious than I would ever be. My husband and I both get only one chance to uphold the committment we made to each other on our wedding day. Neither of us would tolerate infidelity.

Ellen said...

Funny, it's the conservatives that seem most often divorced. The blue state of MA, one of the first to legalize gay marriage, has the lowest divorce rate in the nation. Infidelity is clearly not exclusive to party, but the 'campaigning on moral values' sure is.

vienna va said...

The conservative states also tend to receive more than a dollar in federal spending per dollar of federal taxes:

have higher obesity rates:

have higher divorce rates:

have higher teen birth rates:

but that doesn't seem to stop them from moralizing to the rest of us about the sanctity of marriage, the evils of federal government spending, etc.

Webutante said...

Well, Vienna, if there are higher rates it's likely because there is a much higher percentage of poor black etc welfare recipients which the government trained long ago to wait for Big Daddy for life's benefits rather than work, stay married and take care of oneself.

And as to moralizing, no one rich or poor, white, black, hispanic, young or old, married or one does moralizing better than you.

You're the moralizer's moralizer.

Webutante said...

Oh dear...a yankee moralizer! Yiiikes!

vienna va said...

You continue to be a font of wonderful advice. I hope the national GOP monitors your blog. From "Regression Now!" to "Blame the Poor Blacks!", it'll be a shame if those slogans don't become the rallying call in 2012.

I proudly come from a state with low divorce rates and low obesity rates that gets less federal dollars than it pays so that states like yours can suck off the federal teet while loudly denouncing those who do.

I'm a moralizer???!!! Oh man, that's a good one. I'd love to know in what way that's in the reality based world it's known as pointing out hypocrisy.