Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Nancy P. Hearts Nancy R. Wednesday On Capitol Hill

FRIDAY: OH. Interesting.

NANCY P: Hello, Nancy, I've always disliked you. Still do. And I didn't like Ronnie either. Hated all those dreaful tax cuts! But, my publicity has been so bad lately---what with all the CIA interrogation bru-ha and my accusing them of lying--- I really need a BIG photo op with you that makes me look like a real human being again. That's why I'm sitting here hugging you pretending to like you when I really don't. So glad you came to unveil this big statute of Ronnie.

NANCY R: You're not exactly my cup of tea either, Lady McBeth! Let Go! You're smothering me! Please! Stop! You're suffocating me! Who's doing your botox? Four Seasons or the Ritz Carlton? You're cracking my ribs! It feels like a vice-grip on me. You'll send me to Walter Reed! Let go!

NANCY P: Listen honey, I am the most powerful, strong woman in the world now in case you don't know! I wear the pants suits around here.... and when I say jump, the whole world jumps...You're just the widow of a once-famous President who's gone and has fallen from political grace. Tax cuts are history! And it won't be long till the Berlin Wall goes back up! I'll hug you and smile as much as I want to. And you can't do one thing about it. I'm the boss now.

NANCY R: Oh please! I'll call for help and make a scene. Let me go! I still have a little clout here. Jim Baker will come to my rescue.... If that doesn't work, I'll call Andrew Breitbart and tell him what you did to me! He'll smear it all over the internet...

NANCY P: OK. OK, but just keep smiling a little longer. I was about to give you a back-handed compliment on your support for stem-cell research....I'll tell everyone how many lives you've saved by supporting MY cause. I'll make you a hero if'll let us finish this photo op .... just a few more seconds.

NANCY R: Nancy! Nancy! Such poor breeding! You're time is up. In five seconds I'm going to scream bloody murder and make a scene if you don't let go.......Jim!!

(Nancy P. slowly loosens her grip on Nancy R. who breaths a deep sigh of relief that her ordeal in Washington and on Capitol Hill is almost over.....she silently tells herself she'll never come back to this pit of vipers----ever again!)

Nancy P gets up, straightens her jacket, then heads back to the House powder room to reapply lip gloss. Nancy P departs with Jim in a limo heading back to Reagan International for a non-stop back to John Wayne.

The End.... for now.

No comments: