'Almost at once I was followed by what I have called the Big Man, or the Big Ghost to put it more accurately. He in turn was followed by one of the bright people.
"Don't you know me?" the bright spirit shouted to the Ghost.
"Well, I'll be damned, yes, I remember you. You killed Jack, didn't you....you look pretty pleased with yourself......but what about poor Jack? What about that poor chap lying cold and dead?"
"Of course I did. But it's all right now. You'll see and meet him if you stay....."
"What I'd like to understand," said the Ghost, "is what you're here for, as pleased as punch, you a bloody murderer, while I've been walking the streets down there and living in a place like a pigsty all these years...?"
"That's a little hard to understand at first. But it is all over now. You will be pleased about it presently, Till then there's no need to bother about it," said the bright spirit.
"No need to bother about it! Aren't you ashamed of yourself?......Look at me, now. I gone straight all my life. I don't say I was a religious man and I don't say I had no faults, far from it. But I done my best all my life, see? I done my best by everyone, that's the sort of chap I was. I never asked for anything that wasn't mine by rights. If I wanted a drink I paid for it and if I took my wages I done my job, see? That's the sort I was and I don't care who knows it."
"It would be much better not to go on about that now...."
"Who's going on? I'm not arguing. I'm just telling you the sort of chap I was, see? I'm asking for nothing but my rights. I got my rights, same as you, see? I do my best and I don't see why I should be put below a bloody murderer like you...."
"Don't you know me?" the bright spirit shouted to the Ghost.
"Well, I'll be damned, yes, I remember you. You killed Jack, didn't you....you look pretty pleased with yourself......but what about poor Jack? What about that poor chap lying cold and dead?"
"Of course I did. But it's all right now. You'll see and meet him if you stay....."
"What I'd like to understand," said the Ghost, "is what you're here for, as pleased as punch, you a bloody murderer, while I've been walking the streets down there and living in a place like a pigsty all these years...?"
"That's a little hard to understand at first. But it is all over now. You will be pleased about it presently, Till then there's no need to bother about it," said the bright spirit.
"No need to bother about it! Aren't you ashamed of yourself?......Look at me, now. I gone straight all my life. I don't say I was a religious man and I don't say I had no faults, far from it. But I done my best all my life, see? I done my best by everyone, that's the sort of chap I was. I never asked for anything that wasn't mine by rights. If I wanted a drink I paid for it and if I took my wages I done my job, see? That's the sort I was and I don't care who knows it."
"It would be much better not to go on about that now...."
"Who's going on? I'm not arguing. I'm just telling you the sort of chap I was, see? I'm asking for nothing but my rights. I got my rights, same as you, see? I do my best and I don't see why I should be put below a bloody murderer like you...."
"OH NO. It's not as bad as that," said the Bright Spirit. "I haven't got my rights, or I shouldn't be here. You will not get yours either. You'll get something far better, never fear."
"What do you keep arguing for? I'm only telling you the sort of chap I am. I only want my rights.....I'm not asking for any body's bleeding charity.....If they choose to let in a bloody murderer like you, that's their look out. But I don't see myself going in the same boat as you, see? I'm a decent man and if I had my rights I'd have been here long ago and you can tell them I said so."
The Bright Spirit shook his head. "You can't do it like that....And it isn't exactly true, you know." Mirth danced in his eyes as he said it.
"What isn't true?" as the Ghost sulkily.
"You weren't a decent man and you didn't do you best. None of were and none of us did. Lord bless you, it doesn't matter...."
"YOU!" gasped the Ghost. "You, a murderer, have the face to tell me I wasn't a decent chap?"
"Of course. Must I go into all of that? I will tell you one thing to begin with: Murdering old Jack wasn't the worst thing I did. That was the work of the moment and I was half mad when I did it. But I murdered you in my heart, deliberately for years. I used to lie awake at night thinking what I'd do to you if I ever got the chance. That is why I've been sent to you now, to ask your forgiveness and to be your servant as long as you need one.....I was the worst. But all the men who worked under you felt the same. You made it hard for us, you know. And you made it hard for your wife and for your children."
"Mind your own business, young man," said the Big Ghost. "I'm not taking any impudence from you about my private affairs."
"There are no private affairs."
"I'll tell you one thing," said the Big Ghost. "You can clear off, see? You're not wanted. I may be a poor man, but I'm not making pals with a murderer, let alone take lessons from him. Made it hard for you and your like, did I? If I had you back there I'd show you what hard work is."
"Come and show me now," said the other with laughter in his voice. "It will be joy going to the mountains...."
"You don't think I'd go with you, do you?"
"Don't refuse. You will never get there alone. And I'm the one who was sent to you."
"Tell them I'm not coming, see? I'd rather be damned than go along with you. I came here to get my rights. Not to go snivelling along on charity tied onto your apron-strings......I'll go home..... That's what I'll do. I'll go home. And blast the whole pack of you....."
In the end, still grumbling, but whimpering also a little as it picked its way over the sharp grasses, it made off.'
----------C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce
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