TODAY, I'M IN A STATE OF COMPASSION FATIGUE.
I could tell you some stories, but mercifully won't. For now, let it suffice, rather than blogging, I'm using all my excess life-energy to keep from being pulled into someone else's black hole. It never helps and always hurts when we let ourselves go down with them. We think getting dragged down is love and compassion, but it's anything but.
We can love someone---especially a family member---with a passion and want the best for them and their life, but when their black hole wants to eat our emotional sobriety, then we--I--have to let it go, sooner rather than later. I'm no good to anyone if I'm not coming from a fairly steady state of emotional, physical, sexual and spiritual sobriety. I'm a goner when I get hooked and take the bait. When someone makes me or not-me the answer to their life and problems, then I know I'm in a no-winner. When they ask me to do something I firmly believe is not in their best interest at the moment, and I refuse to go along to get along then I have to step back and let them get someone else to do their bidding. That's when prayer is the greatest gift we can give, and letting go.
Have you noticed the light is changing and every one and every thing is becoming more intense, and it's just the beginning of the season?
Welcome to fall and the darkening time of the year. We all need to do our own work and be more than willing to do specific things to help others when they ask or when we see a need we can meet. Sometimes we can only give a token of what's a much greater need, wishing we could much more. In the end, only God can fill that hole and there are simply no substitutes.
It's been one of those days, and it's still not over, though a good night's sleep will go a long way.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
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6 comments:
Very well put and a healthy approach.
A few years ago I trained to be a Stephen Minister at a local hospital, and one of the things we learned is that you can't help the person in the pit if you have to get down in the pit with that person.
You will be in my prayers.
Thank you so much. I do need prayers. I've a lot of 12-step work and much more advanced therapy, yet when these trials come and they do everything they can to pull me down, and if I don't, I'm a bad person, then it's really hard for me to stay balanced.
When I finally let go, even in love I want to punish myself somehow that I can't or didn't make it right. Still, I do get loose sooner and sooner. Thank you. I'm not God though I surely wish I were sometimes.
Deploy pepper spray.
Thank you for making me laugh. Does anything get and keep us out of the black hole more than a damn good laugh?
Laughing is good, but I feel for you on your current state of affairs. Hope it all works out, it usually does. I will say an extra prayer for you tonight!
Thank you so much, Stacie.
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