Wednesday, January 20, 2010

When Unimaginably Bad Foot Things Happen To Good Carpets

NOT CRAZY ABOUT the all-white bridal dress look on perky, cutey Kate Hudson at the Golden Globes. But when it's combined with the elevated white-wedge platform shoes, I'm left wondering who in the world dressed her--- her old boyfriend, A-Rod? Three men and a baby? Everything looks stiff, uncomfortable, even dangerous. When you wear stuff like this, do your orthopedic insurance rates for ankle injuries go up? If I thought I had to wear them, I'd insist on a steady man's arm and shoulder for support or I'd end up flinging them across the room and darting around in my stocking feet. Triple ugh. The dress, over-sized earrings and cloven-hoof look are un-marvellous on Julianne, an otherwise lovely looking woman. Why would she put herself and her fans through this when a simple black dress could have been a great default look? Does she really think her feet accessories add to the dour outfit or look well enough to be parading them on the red carpet?

The final foot atrocity of this dreadful series. While I'm not fond of the sub-par dress, it could perhaps, maybe be salvageable were it not for the foot bondage look she's forcing us all to witness and endure. Who in the world designs these things? Some costume designer from Night of the Living Dead? More importantly, who---with a straight face---talks women into wearing this kinda thing on their feet anywhere in the known universe, let alone in front of fifty million cameras? I demand to know! Who? They should be shipped out of town on a rail. Is this what the extreme feminist movement has wrought in women's fashion?

Ladies should look and act like like ladies during occasions like this. And a lady's feet should be dainty and lithe as she enters a room. As far as I'm concerned the less on the foot the better. But you sure wouldn't know it from these.

No comments: