Wednesday, January 27, 2010

President Obama: Bartender-in-Chief


AFTER A BRUISING DROP IN THE POLLS LAST WEEK WITH SCOTT BROWN'S WIN IN MASSACHUSETTS, President Obama is in full wannabe best bartender mode. He's brewing several very strong government concoctions he hopes to serve us that will satisfy like a cold one in 100 degree weather in July, after several sets of of tennis. He hopes we will like it and then beg, beg, beg for more government intervention. And more. But only, mind you, if we're middle class---code word for independent voters who are scared to death and in need of a stiff drink.

We need to remember, as Bartender-in-chief, Barack doesn't want to hurt us, he only wants to help us....relax a little.....get us sleepy, just a little punch drunk with a little government fixes and intervention breweries. He thinks, hopes we're a bit jumpy these days and need some federal libations to calm us down.

Tonight, President and Chief Bartender Barack Obama has a full bar of beer and harder stuff ready and waiting for all of us in need of what he wants to give us ....

*****The Bernanke Cheap and Dirty Money Martini---It's made with ten parts newly printed dollar bills and one tiny part very low-interest vermouth---One of the best ways to get the lower and middle-classes drunk fast, especially when they can't hold their liquor, is to give em liquor loans they can't afford and sustain. The drinking gets so fast with these in fact, no one will remember how they got so drunk and when they sober up, they'll be ready to do it all again!(More later... it's Bible study then tango dancing tonight!
Somehow, I think my Scotch-Irish brethren below will be at another bar, not Obama's bar and tavern.... I'm not a big bar kinda girl, but if I had to choose, I'd be with Toby, Willie and the gang myself....


fraydna52 said...

I thought of Obama (and many in Congress) when I read this quote:

"A fanatic has been described as a person who, when unsure of his direction, doubles his speed."
- Charles Hummel

Webutante said...

Absolutely wonderful, fraydna!

gcotharn said...

I'm worried about myself. I almost can't look at Barack without thinking he is demonstrating ... not what I want in a POTUS. In the blogpost photo, look at the way Barack is holding his beer. C'mon Barack! Thats not the way a man holds a beer! Fer cryin out loud, man: even your shirtsleeves look effete - you could get beat up in some bars for your shirtsleeves alone. The only think you got going for you, your only hope of getting out of some bars alive, is that you kinda need a shave. That's your best hope. I would start for the door immediately. A speedy exit is your friend. And DON'T try to negotiate without preconditions. You fail to understand: there are people in this world who do not negotiate. And don't, under any circumstances, even utter the word "preconditions". That might get you beaten up AND left in a ditch outside of town.

Even Barack's facial expression looks like a child who is trying to get away with something. Is this a guy who has never sat at a bar and downed a beer? Is this a guy who never sat at a bar which didn't have ferns? And what's with the glass? A beer looks like this, or like any of these on this page - just scroll down. What does that glass hold? 6 ounces? 7 ounces? We men are exactly stupid enough that we expect each other to drink a proper amount of beer. That can be one beer. But it cannot be 6 ounces. They gave Barack the girl glass - they knew their customer. It's a champagne flute for lesbians. Man rules can seem stupid, but they are THE RULES! Follow em, or suffer the consequences.

Barack is an embarrassment to manhood. I rarely see him, anymore, when I don't also see something idiotic in the photo.

Webutante said...

Thank you for this amazing and perceptive tutorial, Greg. Yes, I agree, No, I don't think the word "preconditions" would cut it at Tootsie's Orchid Lounge.

This is a puerile presidency.

Ellen said...

Would you conservatives care to debate the new bill submitted by Sen, Franken to keep foreign interests out of US elections?

“Since 1974, federal law has banned foreign companies from giving or spending in American elections. Nothing in our current laws, however, explicitly prohibits foreign companies from creating American subsidiaries or getting control of American companies and using them to flood the airwaves in support of their preferred candidates. Citizens United gives companies unlimited power to do that – and does not distinguish between American companies and companies that are owned or controlled by foreign interests.”
- Sen. Al Franken, who just announced bill to keep foreign interests out of US elections

Ellen said...

This may be of interest to you and your readers:
Gallup’s most comprehensive year-long polling of more than 353,849 adults in all 50 states