Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Getting Personal, Sharing the Love Letter I Received Tuesday From A Suitor

HERE AT WEBUTANTE, I try not to expose you to too many of the gory details of my personal life on a day-to-day basis. I know, really know, you don't want to be the unwitting victim-readers of TMI (too much information) when it comes to the deep inner goings-on of my life, family, friends.

Sure, every now and then some personal indulgance slips out---like when I first learned to make Slopmadoodle, or got a speeding ticket in D.C. from a hidden traffic camera. So okay, every now and then you'll put up and even like my revealing stuff like that and I really appreciate it. Still I don't want to overdo it.

But today I am going to share with you the essence of a love letter I received that went straight to my heart from a recent suitor. The kind every one of us wants to get when the chips are down or when they're up too. The kind of written word that helps you sleep better at night.

But first, I gotta fix dinner and change into something more comfortable, you know, to get in the mood. But I'll be back to paraphrase the letter d'amour after I do........xxoo......


May 18, 2009

Dear Ms. Webutante,

Thank you for helping to clear up all that misunderstanding between us. As a matter of fact, after your letter with all the "proof" you provided, it is apparent that there was never really any disagreement between us after all. It was our mistake and yet we thought it was yours.

Please accept our apologies for writing and accusing you of cheating on us. Now it's clear you didn't do such a thing. Everything is fine between us. You don't owe us a thing. So please disregard any nasty letters you may have gotten from us in the last several weeks. And you can put your checkbook away. And tear up that check for $12,000 we thought you owed us. The stuff you provided came out to the penny.

As far as we're concerned this matter is closed. Thank you for standing up responding in such a timely fashion. Consider this our kiss-and-make-up letter. Until next time....

Forever yours,

The Internal Revenue Service


Dear IRS,

Aw shucks, golly gee. It was nothing. Apology accepted. I loved spending days and days last February and March re-calculating every stock trade I made in 2007. It was a blast and helped me get back in touch with how much I enjoy doing simple math on my living room floor, my dining room table and everywhere in between. Wishing you the best under the new administration. And hoping you'll be having bigger fish to fry from here on.

In case you don't get my message, I'm breaking up with you now and hope I never hear from you again.

Your acquaintance in social security number only until my dying day and beyond (unless we secede or get the fair tax),



gcotharn said...

the dream is always the same: the postman rings my doorbell with a registered letter...

Webutante said...

Well, fyi Greg, and I don't have a lot of experience here, the registered letters are often the first letters that tell you you're "under review" and "our records show you owe much more."

The letter I received yesterday was not registered. It was just ordinary, plain vanilla snail mail...not to diminish the value of it to me.

One other point: I have a wonderful accountant who sent my response with a cover letter after I had done all the calculations. He also ran my newly minted numbers through his own computers and said they matched to the penny what the IRS said I owed.

It was nonetheless an ordeal.