DON SURBER: EVEN THE MUPPETS CAN'T SURVIVE THE NEW CRAPPY CENTURY
THIS MORNING I READ A BOOK REVIEW @ PJMEDIA on a newly-released book called The Well-Armored Child, A Parent's Guide To Preventing Child Sexual Abuse by Joelle Casteix Page, an author with first-hand knowledge of child sexual abuse herself at the hands of an adult predator. As a grandmother of two small children, my eyes and ears perk up when I see an article like this. I want to get the book to read, then send it on to their parents, my children.
It's a good review of abuse and how an abuser gets his or her foot in the door of a child's, pre-teen's or teenager's young heart and life and selfishly takes and trespasses on what doesn't belong to them. Some of the information isn't new, but overall the article and book is a good way to review the fundamentals of abuse.
Which got me to thinking: the same principles of child sexual abuse apply to any and all other kinds of adult abuses. When you get right down to it, abuse is abuse is another name for trespass, be it sexual, or any kind of property.
In almost all cases of abuse and trespass, there is an unequal balance of power---as in adult-child---which precludes activity on an even playing field. Here are some of the most important things to remember about abuse and trespasses of all kinds, at all ages:
1. The abuser/trespasser befriends his perspective victim, gaining his trust, usually over time---months and often years---ahead of the abuse or trespass.
2. The abuser/trespasser then leads and grooms the victim over time and misplaced trust to begin to want what the abuser wants.
3. The abuser/trespasser claims the abuse/trespass is consensual and that both parties agree and want it. (As in, that eight-year-old boy wanted sex with that 30 year-old-pedophile and it was totally consensual....His mother and father totally approved his going with this predator to that game etc.)
4. In every way possible, the abuser/trespasser documents the victim's consent and approval of his disgusting behavior.
For predators and trespassers who successfully accomplish such 'foreplay', it's like taking candy from a baby.
If only all adults could and would remember these basic principles of being preyed upon, life might begin to be easier, and lawyers wouldn't have nearly so much business.
Again, predators befriend, groom, get consensual approval for their horrific actions from their victims. All abuse and trespass follows the same general patterns no matter what form it takes.