Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Quick Oscar Fashion Review, From Best to Appalling

UPDATE: Okay, I give the above get-up a runner up for best, cause in my heart of hearts, I like it. I like blue and black sequins and netting together. Very glamorous, verging on fabulous (though for the life of me, I can't figure out what she's dragging around in her train---an air conditioning vent? a fly rod travel tube?).

DON'T WANT TO belabor the Oscars which I didn't watch. However, I couldn't resist giving myself a good twenty minutes today looking at the women and their gowns that did the Red Carpet. Think I scanned almost everything and quickly narrowed it down to several pics I think exemplify the best and the worst.

I'm not a costumer myself, nor overly daring when it comes to dressing up. I like simple fashion that I wear and that doesn't wear me. I can appreciate a woman who can pull off some crazy thing. This year Heidi Klum tried in that red dress and failed in my opinion. And except for perhaps Sarah Jessica Parker who came as Princess Cinderellatella, I just didn't see any costumes worth featuring here. So without further ado, I hereby give my Webutante best and worst 2009 Oscar awards starting with the best:
The woman we all love to hate, oh let us count the ways. However, after looking at every single woman at this gig, Angie's still the one--fashion wise and gets top billing here. I like the heart-shape bodice, the simplicity and approachable-ness of the design. It just doesn't get any more elegant than black either. What puts her over the top is her hair, her stunning earrings, her carriage, her posture. Nothing works when you don't carry yourself like royalty (which she is NOT). I hate it that I like her look so much. But I do. She looks like a movie star should. I'd much rather put Jennifer at the top of this post because I think she and her dress are indeed on the conservative side of fabulous. This would be a dress that I'd love to wear. Not too much fabric, just enough going on to make it interesting. Love the way it drapes her great figure. But for me, black still takes the prize over white any day, and her carriage and poise here could improve a bit. I'd also like to see her hair a bit more elegantly coiffed. She's done a fabulous job of overcoming an extremely difficult situation and my hat is off to her. She wears well on the eyes and I'm sure in person, better than you-know-who. Still, I can only give her an enthusiastic second place for Oscar night fashion. Nonetheless, what a great looking woman and gown. I love its texture and the way it's worked out on the bias too.
There's very little about this year's one-strap shoulder fad phenomena that appeals to me. But of the three above, Freida, in the middle, takes the prize after Angie and Jennifer. She's adorable and has the coloring for the bright blue (even though she looks like she ran smack dab into a spider web to me). She carried it off well. I am, however, hard pressed to fathom who advised Kate Winslett, right, on her gown. Someone from AARP? The Steel Workers Union? She's far too pretty for this. Truly, she wins dowdy award of the decade. Color, cut, sash all leave me scratching my head and wondering, What ever was she thinking?
Words truly fail me here, in giving the worst award to Whoopi. I mean, can't she afford some decent fashion advice? In a pinch, why couldn't Barbara Walters have nicely taken her aside and encouraged her to seek professional help? I actually like this woman. One thing to be thankful for is that the leopard print is no larger than it already is. Still, it's way too much for all that reams of fabric, in my opinion (This is scarf material, not dress). So next year, my advice to Whoopi is to go for texture rather than something that looks like wall paper or your erstwhile roommate's shower curtain. And if perchance, she gets a notion to do this kinda thing again, hopefully some good friend will do a fashion intervention and take her to a wardrobe treatment program in an ambulance breaking the speed limit.

UPDATE: Runner-down (below) to Whoopi. Whoever got any dollars for this design including the wet-look dress, the bodice, the hair, is going to need some Obama bailout money because surely they've had to declare bankruptcy this week.
So whadda you think? Hit or miss? This was fun, cause, you know, we all may be wearing sack cloth this time next year.

11 comments:

  1. Angelina is definitely the best, and Brad Pitt in a tuxedo is not a bad accessory. Your comments about her posture and carriage are interesting. I hadn't really ever thought of that.

    About Angelina: I don't hold it against her that God blessed her with so many gifts. I do think some of her opinions and actions are wack. However, Bill O'Reilly said he investigated her - with intent to possibly expose her as a hypocrite over her charity work - and discovered she and her charity projects are legit. So, I appreciate her sincerity. Her heart is apparently in the right place.

    I feel the same, sort of, about Joan Baez. Baez' opinions and actions are often foolish. However, in 1979 she weathered liberal criticism to purchase full page adds condemning the actions of North Vietnam's communist government. Thus Baez is the rare liberal who is willing to admit her own error, and to put her own money where her mouth is. I respect that. I do wish she could be a bit wiser in her opinions, but I respect her sincerity. Same with Angelina.

    Winslett(whom I am hopelessly charmed by, even though she also has some goofy political opinions)'s dress looks like something Rand's industrial czar heroine Dagny Taggert would wear.

    I like the playful texturing of Marisa Tomei's dress.

    I agree that the color of Freida's dress works really well. But, I don't trust my opinion, b/c, for now, for me, Freida can do no wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Agreed, Greg, Freida absolutely rules. And I have to say your comments about sincerity are well taken. So much of a woman's, and a man's, look is affected by the whole package including sense of humor, whimsy, and fun in carrying the whole thing off. Want to be elegant without taking yourself too seriously. Freida hasn't yet been jaded by too much success. And is so wonderfully fresh.

    Thanks for your man's perspective.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Web,

    I am by no means an Angelina fan, but I must confess I've been trying my darnedest to build up a list of "reasons I don't like her" and there isn't an awful lot to it. It comes down to: I think she's overrated; she must be driving Brad crazy with all those kids (but that's none of my concern, and hey, it is a good thing if you're one of the kids); her lips are too big; she made Tomb Raider movies with her arms and legs covered most of the time.

    Other than that, and the appearance of having some of that hardcore left-wing stink about her -- she seems to be a decent young lady with a big heart. Mind you, if you do have something scandalous on her, I'd like to know about it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks Morgan. It's always fun to get you men's take on stuff like this. And frankly, I'll admit that the catty part of me as a female just doesn't care for Angie that much. But that's the extent of it, now that you ask.....can't I be a little catty and get by with it??

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think Freida's dress is gorgeous! It seems to have an Indian cut and the jewel tone color. Indian Inspired without looking like a costume.

    ReplyDelete
  6. My Little Mermaid? Just awful. What was she thinking? It made me think of the time Lara Flynn Boyle wore that horrible swan dress.

    Kate's dress was not flattering at all. Neither was Angelina's, but her personal beauty overcomes all. The woman in blue---just stunning and the most beautiful that night. As for Jennifer: she always plays it safe and never gets too outlandish, so she always looks pretty.

    As for Whoopi---she's like the magnetic opposite of style. But she DID actually wear a dress, so let's give her a hand for trying.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks JM and Deborah for your good observations. And yes, Whoopi did actually wear a dress!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh this was a fun read! I liked the classiness of Angelina's dress and over all style. That "thing" hanging from her arm isn't too bad looking either! lol

    ReplyDelete
  9. Poor Whoopi. Joy Behar must be her stylist.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Jesus! Look at the jugs on that leopard-skin couch!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Just read your analysis of the Oscar gowns. We actually watched the Red Carpet arrivals. Our son was home on Sunday for dinner and we all gathered around before dinner was served to watch. We were hysterical. We were struck by how totally stupid the celebs were. None of these people came up with anything that made sense...at least to us. We all agreed that the air heads were out in force. You really had to be there watching to really appreciate how stupid these Hollywood types are. I agree with your critique. Right on.


    There was an actress...do not recall her name...who appeared in a hot pink gown. I think it was short and had the geometric, angular thing going on for the bodice. It was split way up the thigh on one side. She told the interviewers (a woman and a VERY gay man who sounded like a female) that on the ride over to the event she had to sit on "one cheek" because the dress was so tight that she could not sit on both sides!. I suppose she remained standing for the entire evening. Someone told me that another actress was showing off her shoes and displayed her Spanx!! (Must have been the full length panty/leggings number) Don't you just love it? The Red Carpet experience finished us off...one has only so much patience and we did not hang in for the Oscars. Too bad so few viewers actually saw the movies that were nominated. I understand most were pretty depressing.

    ReplyDelete