Saturday, July 14, 2012

'Enormous Disappointments' In Life For All of Us and Our Children

I AGREE WITH JESSE JR'S MOTHER

TWO SAD STORIES IN THE NEWS OF TWO YOUNG MEN----BOTH SONS OF 'FAMOUS' FATHERS---seemingly with everything to live for---retreating into their private hells and either dying isolated and alone, or being so depressed he wants to die.

Sage Stallone was found dead Friday in his bedroom surrounded by disgusting filth and prescription drugs probably days after he died and had communicated with anyone. His last days he lived as a hermit while spiralling deeper and deeper into depression. When he couldn't keep his I'm doing fine routine going, he retreated into his private darkness where the wheels of his isolated thoughts went round and round with no real intervention or resolution.

Meanwhile, the son of the Rev. Jesse Jackson, Rep.Jesse Jr., evidently has fallen into such a deep depression that he's retreated completely from the world and into his home.

I cannot tell you how sad I feel for both these devastated parents. But by the Grace of God go any of us.

Let's face it, Life Is Tough. No matter how glamorous, upbeat, involved, well planned,  blessed our lives may seem, there is usually an undertone of suffering and unexpected turn of events in all of us. I would go so far as to say, it's meant to be that way. Suffering and learning to deal with it, is as mandatory in our lives as death and taxes. It's life's curriculum whether we like it or not.

This morning, I was deeply touched by Jacqueline Jackson's heartfelt disclosure about their son and the family's desperate need for understanding and prayer without ceasing:



While I've never been a fan of her race-baiting husband, Jesse Sr., I must say I admire her honesty and deeply passionate request for prayers and support.

She goes on to say this generation doesn't bounce back the way older generations do---and have had to. I believe this is true because we and our offspring especially have been born and grown up in the most prosperous time the world has even known. We and our children have all lived and matured with silver spoons in our mouths--- grown up believing the lie we can have It All easily, as a matter of course, without the hard work, blood, sweat and tears and heartache of former generations. It's called entitlement---a successful destiny is owed us no matter what.

Success and living happily ever after as a given is a myth, a bubble.

Unfortunately the bubble can burst and so many adult kids and their parents are so emotionally, fiscally, spiritually bankrupt and underwater, they have no tools to deal.
No tools that is except drugs, alcohol, false bravado, suicide and denial.

We, who have weathered a few personal tsunamis in our lives and rebuilt,  need to be honest with our children and grandchildren:  Life is tough and designed to grow us up. Our disappointments whether they involve relationships, money, sex, power or failed ambition aand job path always have a Higher Purpose and can push us to the end of ourselves and the beginning of God.

Letting kids fail early and often---then learn from their mistakes---is a sure way to toughen them up for future hard knocks. Conversely, parents who over-protect their progeny are setting up future weakness.

We all need to learn to deal productively with rejection, disrespect, ingratitude, heartbreak and failure.  If we don't we become fragile as porcelin dolls, destined to break in a thousand pieces.  We all need to get a grip on reality and live in that space rather than an endless sense of false hope and unsustainable change. Easier said than done, I know.

There are no guarantees in Life. Jesse's mother knows this and is asking for our prayer support.

I will pray for both families.  But for one it is too late for their son.  For the other, it may not be.  Perhaps Jesse can learn to drop the sense of entitlement, grow up and join the day-to-day struggle for maturity all of us must face.

God bless both families as they deal with the very tough hands that's been dealth them.

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