ONCE UPON A TIME, the Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out, bites the Governor and attacks his dog. He starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural, so he calls animal control. Animal Control captures coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it. Hethen calls a veterinarian who collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous animals. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness" program for residents of the area. Then the State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack somehow and for letting the Governor attempt to intervene. Additional cost to State of California: $75,000 to hire and train a new security agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files suit against the State.*****
The Governor of Arizona is jogging with her dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks her dog. The Governor shoots the coyote with her State-issued pistol and keeps jogging with her dog. She's spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote. She goes back to her office to sign the state's new immigration bill.
The cost to California :Tens of thousands. Price of keeping government out of every aspect of our lives: PRICELESS.
Thanks to Libby P in Nashville for sending this!
With all due respect to the people of Arizona (and I have tremendous respect for them; especially right now), this fanatical Texan intercedes with, I thought it was our own Governor Rick Perry that nailed a coyote before it could harm his dog.
ReplyDeleteWe're claiming bragging rights on this one. ;-)
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I have to tell you: this actually happened to political superstar Texas Governor Rick Perry. He was jogging with his dog; a coyote menaced his dog; Rick Perry was packing and shot the coyote dead.
ReplyDeleteRoger Simon of Pajamas Media hung out with Gov. Perry:
ReplyDelete"What was interesting about this whole Perry/NASCAR thing was how it was retail politics taken to a new level. Texas is no small state, as everyone knows, but it has a small town flavor compared to New York and California. And Perry is a people person on a level I have not quite seen before in politics. You even worry about him, if he ever does make a White House run."
Roger Simon's PJTV video of his visit to Texas
Thank you for setting the record straight, Paul. You do have bragging rights above even Arizona....
ReplyDeleteGreg, I remember this episode with Pajamas. Thanks for sending the link/ Rick is a people person and also a to the right of Attila the Hun....my kinda guy!
I am happy that there are more states in the Union where we can handle problems simply, with common sense. Yesterday I was realizing how much common sense is dead, when Airport Security made us take the shoes off of my 19-month old son's feet because it could be a bomb... then confiscated our son's sunblock because the tube was .25 ounces too big. LAME!
ReplyDeleteHey author...I love you! Keep holding up Jesus as your Savior.
LOL ... All right, California bashers. You can dish it out, but can ya take it? All in good fun, of course.
ReplyDeleteArizona is just jealous. I'm sure that the availability of cheap ammo, firearms and buzzards to clean up the mess are a source of great pride to Arizonans (and evidentally, Texans, who are eager to steal Arizona's thunder in this vital matter). The sense of accomplishment must be intoxicating. And a coyote-shootin' governor? I mean, how cool is that? Every baseball cap wearin', tobacco-dippin', Coors drinkin' , pickup truck-drivin', Easy Rider rifle rack-packin', Glenn Beck-watchin' yahoo at the Do Drop Inn must be bustin' his buttons, he's s'darn proud of the li'l woman. But the simple truth that California-bashers -- even our homegrown ones -- can't quite overcome is that given a choice, most people would rather be a lamppost in California than the governor of Arizona. It's still the seventh or eighth largest economy on the planet and although it does face difficulties, all hyperbole aside, it is far from "broke" in any meaningful sense of the word. If the state were to someday fall into the ocean (we have one of those and, no, you can't crap in it; it's not the Gulf) as so many would like to see, it would send shockwaves throughout the world, because it is a world-class state that people all over the world still dream of making their home. Does anyone dream of living in Arizona? If you're 80 and arthritic, maybe. But only if everything's booked in Palm Springs, that is.
When I think of Arizona, the following leaps to mind; my old man worked 35 years for Sperry Flight Systems -- big defense contractor. Back in the late '50s, early '60s, it moved its operations from Long Island, N.Y. to Arizona. Do you know what one of the big considerations was for the move? That the company would survive a thermonuclear war. After all, why would the Russkies waste a perfectly good ICBM on a place as God-forsaken as Phoenix? Sadly for Arizona, the reasoning makes perfect sense. Officially, Arizona's state motto is "God Enriches." But really -- isn't "Unfit to Nuke" more appropriate?