AFTER TIGER WOOD'S PUBLIC APOLOGY this week, there's been a raft of commentary and often sarcastic, cynical derision over what he said and theso-called effects he hoped to achieve. Some see his mea culpa as an unmanly show of sissyhood. This says more about the writer and his own insecurities than anything else. True, in recovery as in life, some make it and some don't; some are sincere, some aren't. Some are fortunate enough to hit true bottom and see the light and some manage to keep bottom at bay. None of us can really judge a person's sincerity after a mea culpa like Tiger's this week. It's his spiritual walk and the fruits of it may be known to only a few others and never publicly. When a person truly starts recovering, it's what God thinks, what we think rather than what others think.
Anyway, here's a commentary on real repentance---what it is and isn't--- by Bob Deffinbaugh. Faux repentance lasts about as long as a breath mint. But the real thing is a true change of heart and direction that continues the rest of one's life---albeit imperfectly. Only after a person has experienced true repentance and authentic forgiveness, can he or she graciously give and receive repentance and forgiveness with others. The true repentance process starts in our hearts---is never just for show---and over time flows out into all parts of our lives and relationships. Bitterness, cynism, darkness, mocking, arrogance and sarcasm slowly---emphasis on slowly---go away over time.
Madame Webutante,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your continuing thoughts on this subject. These are truly wonderful vids, and the first one in particular is a beautiful example of somebody acting like a man. I confess I haven't watched the whole Tiger Woods confession, primarily because of my already-stated disgust with the current fascination with public self-shame, which often seems to amount to "I'm sorry anybody got their feelings hurt," instead of stopping after the first two words.
Nonetheless it seems that he has publicly taken responsibility for his own actions, at least in words. As you point out, the tune is yet to be heard. Good for him, although the invocation of "Sex Addiction" by his PR folks does an enormous disservice to those who have struggled with chemical addictions.
I've read the AA literature, as well as attended a few meetings. My own struggles were with marijuana, and I know the insanity produced when the drug keeps justifying its own use to you. The message inherent in AA is right on the money; my own resistance to groups, as well as the observable substitution by some folks of Being An Alcoholic for alcohol itself, leaves me skeptical - but that's about me, after all. I've certainly made every mistake available in my life. I know that Grace has brought me safe thus far, and I live in the hope that Grace will lead me home. And oh my God, I am heartily sorry. I know my cynicism is the problem, not the solution, and the faith and generosity of folks like you serves as a daily example. And thank God for gentle ladies.
One thing that is heartening about trends in the culture is the apparent realization of the need for forgiveness between men and women. Generations have learned to distrust and dislike each other, but hope is shyly peeking through the clouds of misogyny and misandry. Ian Tyson wrote a Song For Canada many years ago which I've always thought could stand for men and women as well; probably he intended the analogy, but deconstruction is insidious, after all.
How come we can't talk to each other any more?
Why can't you see I'm changing too?
We got by far too long to end it feeling wrong
And I still share too much with you.
How come you shut me out as if I wasn't there?
What's this new bitterness you found?
However wronged you were, however strong it hurt,
It wasn't me who held you down.
Why can't you understand I'm glad you're standing proud?
I know you made it on your own.
But in this new pride you've earned, I thought you might have learned
That you don't have to stand alone.
One single river always flowing to the sea,
One single river rolling in eternity --
Two nations in this land that lies along its shore,
But just one river rollin' free.
We ain't done yet, are we?
Rob, you seem well on your way, Sir. No doubt, He will bring you all the way in His Time, His Way.
ReplyDeleteIt was C.S. Lewis, I believe, who said the most manly men were the manly men of God who are are all feminine and submissive to the face of God. It doesn't make them sissies, it makes them truly masculine, as the two humble, strong men are above.
Thanks, Rob. To be continued...
Great post:) I just heard Glenn Beck's talk yesterday from the CPAC convention. This post reminds me of it for 1)Beck talks about Republicans have not had a "come to Jesus" moment, and 2)he had some comments to say about Tiger Woods. You can watch it on my blog at surrenderalltoyou.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteGod Bless
"Only after a person has experienced true repentance and authentic forgiveness, can he or she graciously give and receive repentance and forgiveness with others."
ReplyDeleteVery well said, Web, and thank you!